Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Never say never.
I really believe that everyone has a certain responsibility, a certain role, in this world. I've never thought that I would be involve in education, and definitely, the idea of being a teacher has never cross my small, tiny, miniscule brain before I's stranded in my hometown after resigning from a job in the 'big city'! But here I am, teaching kids ranging from 14 to people around my age, i.e. 18!!!
There were times when I feel like quitting, feel like it's not worth it anymore to suffer and agonize when my kids didn't achieve their potential. The feeling of self-doubt is not foreign to me, and believe me, it's revisited me many times lately. Everytime I scream at them for bad results, I scream silently to myself inside, asking myself - was it their fault? they are lazy or Was it mine? Should I have given out more exercise? Should I explain a few more times? Should I give extra class? Should I..? Should I...?
After soul searching and re-searching, I know deep down inside I've given them everything I can, stop short of telling them the questions that will come out in exam. But nobody seems to care that I stood in front of them teaching, yearning for them to know - course syllabus, and life's compass. They must have thought I stood in front yapping, babbling, nagging.. just to get the dough. I'm every witch they can recall, and every b***h they can call. I'm the evil stepmother, always picking on them. To what I owe these?
I believe my kids have potential. I have to be honest, not all of them will get A. But getting A is not the mighty important in life. It's just an alphabet. It doesn't mean you're a failure if you get the other 25 alphabets. But not trying to get the A means you are a failure. You dodge the problem. You rather call yourself dumb then to try and get the A. As if the A is going to choke you?! I remember my first year in primary school. First term I got 15. My dad who didn't finish elementary school himself was so incest he almost bit my head off. Yeah, exaggeration, but it's more or less it. But you see, my problem was not that I's lazy. My problem was that I can't understand the language. Perfecting the language in 3 months time allowed me to be first in class for the remaining term. That, I call, determination. That, I call, success. Nothing is impossible if we put our heart and effort into it.
You have it in you too. Dig deeper into your heart and soul. You know it. You have a role in life. or maybe many roles in this life. For now, your role is to make me not doubt myself, ever. For us... T R Y!
There were times when I feel like quitting, feel like it's not worth it anymore to suffer and agonize when my kids didn't achieve their potential. The feeling of self-doubt is not foreign to me, and believe me, it's revisited me many times lately. Everytime I scream at them for bad results, I scream silently to myself inside, asking myself - was it their fault? they are lazy or Was it mine? Should I have given out more exercise? Should I explain a few more times? Should I give extra class? Should I..? Should I...?
After soul searching and re-searching, I know deep down inside I've given them everything I can, stop short of telling them the questions that will come out in exam. But nobody seems to care that I stood in front of them teaching, yearning for them to know - course syllabus, and life's compass. They must have thought I stood in front yapping, babbling, nagging.. just to get the dough. I'm every witch they can recall, and every b***h they can call. I'm the evil stepmother, always picking on them. To what I owe these?
I believe my kids have potential. I have to be honest, not all of them will get A. But getting A is not the mighty important in life. It's just an alphabet. It doesn't mean you're a failure if you get the other 25 alphabets. But not trying to get the A means you are a failure. You dodge the problem. You rather call yourself dumb then to try and get the A. As if the A is going to choke you?! I remember my first year in primary school. First term I got 15. My dad who didn't finish elementary school himself was so incest he almost bit my head off. Yeah, exaggeration, but it's more or less it. But you see, my problem was not that I's lazy. My problem was that I can't understand the language. Perfecting the language in 3 months time allowed me to be first in class for the remaining term. That, I call, determination. That, I call, success. Nothing is impossible if we put our heart and effort into it.
You have it in you too. Dig deeper into your heart and soul. You know it. You have a role in life. or maybe many roles in this life. For now, your role is to make me not doubt myself, ever. For us... T R Y!
You may be my first billionaire student.
You may be my first prime minister student.
You may be my first actor student.
You may be my first teacher student.
You may be my first mechanic student.
You may be my first chef student.
Whatever you may be, please try to be my good student.
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